Monday, May 23, 2016

The day the music stopped

I love music. It's a really big passion of mine. For a long time now, I would hear music in my head. I compose and arrange my own pieces. I have such a hard time playing how real pieces are supposed to sound because I can hear how I want it to sound in my head.

So about a year ago when I lost all interest in the piano I didn't really realize this special gift I believe I have, or talent that I was given was gone, I didn't really notice.

Depression really does take pieces of you away. And this was something so essential to my make up. I relied on piano for so many things. It was my refuge, a way to express myself. And suddenly I couldn't do that anymore. It was gone.

Fast forward to a few days ago. I was sitting at my parents house playing with Hailey when all of a sudden the sweetest sound came into my head.

I sat there for a second and then started to hum. And then I realized... the music that had been gone for months and months for so long had finally returned. 

I of course ran to the piano just to see if it was really true. If the music was back.

I realize I must sound like a lunatic. But really how else can one describe it?

I lost a part of me because of my depression. Something that I thought I could never lose. Depression is so difficult to live with because people can't see how much you're hurting. Even I didn't realize how much I lost myself. I kind of just accepted the fact that I had no interest in piano anymore.

But what makes me the happiest though, that I am finding myself again. There is hope, that even though you may feel you've lost parts of you due to your mental illness, you can find yourself again!

So keep moving forward and don't give up. It may take some time, but you'll find yourself again!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...