Thursday, May 28, 2015

3 loooonnnnnnggggg Years!

ha. Just kidding it hasn't been 3 lonnnnngggg years! But it's been amazing being married to my best friend for 3 years. And I know my anniversary isn't until Monday, but hey I don't have a lot time in the next few days to do a post about our anniversary. With homework assignments due, and a test on Monday and going to our anniversary trip with no cell reception for the weekend. It's going to be heavenly so now's the best time to do it!

I used to write the things I learned so far into marriage. Like 6 months, or 1 year. And things like that. And as I sit here and think you know? What have I learned? I'm hit with amazement.

In the last 3 years Zack and I have had our fair share of trials. Probably more than some would like in those first years. We've gone through countless health issues for me. Lots of fights and tears. Lots of laughter and memories. And so many amazing things.

Our first year of marriage we spent countless hours in the ER for me. 

We've gone to too many doctor visits to count. And found out I suffered from endometriosis which means there is a chance in our future where it'll mean no more children whether we want that or not.

We were told that whether we were ready or not it was probably best to start a family because there was a chance in our future where we couldn't start that family we were waiting for. 

So our second year of marriage, we spent so many months preparing for our sweet miracle of a baby. We learned so much about each other. We worked opposite shifts so we never saw each other but those brief moments that we got together were filled with happiness and service and love. We talked so much about being parents and how things were getting ready to change. We were so excited that life was going exactly how WE wanted and planned. And it was beautiful.

Then last year we hit one of the roughest times in our life. I had depression and our house felt like a war zone. I didn't know what was going on and I felt everything around me was falling apart. My life, my marriage, everything. I felt everything that could go wrong did. And Zack was such a trooper and fought for me because I couldn't even fight for myself. He kept our marriage going even when I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. He kept going along with my crazy things because I had such bad anxiety. 

I realized that marriage isn't about all the sparkly and amazing things that everyone posts on facebook and instagram. It's about real people with real problems working together. Because they are worth the fight. Fighting for each other even if the other person doesn't feel they are worth fighting for anymore. Sticking together through the rough times because there are beautiful and amazing things ahead. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing. But it's not because two people fell in love. It's because they continually fall in love despite all the difficult things you face together. It's about choosing them over and over again. It's about battling through life's trials together hand in hand, forsaking all others. 

This past year has been the hardest in our marriage. I kept so much about what was going on to myself. And I forgot that there was another person who was going through this with me. I learned so much this past year of opening myself up to Zack. That marriage just isn't about the good times. It's about the bad times as well. Because when you get through those bad times. You'll realize that you grew closer together. Realizing that each of you have faults and loving them anyways.

When you think of marriage you don't think about all the hard things you'll go through. I certainly wouldn't have wanted all of this to happen. But it's been amazing learning and growing so much with Zack. I've learned so much in the past 3 years being married. I learned marriage ISN'T just about putting on a happy front for the world to see. it's about being WITH each other no matter what. It's about loving someone even though they have faults. Seeing someone at there worst and helping them become their best again. It's about BEING there for each other. Having someone look out for you. Having someone there to hold you when your falling apart. Never having to be alone. And having someone remind you that they love you. Every. Single. Day.

That's what I learned in the last 3 years. 

I chose you then. And I choose you now. Thanks for being by my side! I love you Zack! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 

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