Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Grateful in any circumstance

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was feeling extremely down about myself. I could feel the depression taking over. 

As I slowly walked up the steps to my house with a little package of diapers in my hand tears pooling in my eyes because this month has been a hard one for us. 

We had some unexpected expenses come up we weren't anticipating and now, we are barely staying a float. 

We had to make the decision yesterday to buy diapers for our baby or feed ourselves until Thursday. And of course diapers won. I went and sat down on my bedroom floor and put my face in my hands and just let my sadness take over me. I felt like a failure as an adult, as a mother, and as a wife. 

I decided I need something to help relax me so I decided to take a bath. I started up the water and and in ran Madeline. As I got in the bath tub and was just getting settled to relax a little girl kept trying to get in the bath tub with me. 

So, instead of listening to her scream and get mad Zack undressed her and she got in the bathtub with me. And we played and splashed and dumped water everywhere and sang songs blew bubbles and laughed and laughed until the water got cold.

After we were dried off and in pajamas I realized something, there is something good in everyday.

We may be struggling, I could dwell all day about how unfortunate we are right now and cry myself to sleep. I could have anxiety attacks about the upcoming days. 

But instead of I'm grateful. 

I'm grateful I have a roof over my head. I'm grateful that I have a job and so does Zack. I'm grateful we have family members who are willing to help us out if we need them too. I'm grateful for a little girl who always knows how to cheer her mommy up. I'm grateful for mornings, they remind me you always get a fresh start. And I'm grateful for paydays, because on Thursday we'll get paid and have money to buy food for our house. ;) 

I've realized life isn't easy, and it will probably will be never easy. But as long as we look for the good despite the bad days we'll always find SOMETHING to be grateful for!

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