Monday, December 8, 2014

Learning to cope

Hi Guys! I hope your weekend was swimmingly. Ours? Not so much. Madeline has been throwing up once a day for the past 5 days. She didn't today so I'm hoping that means she's doing better and whatever was wrong with her she is now over. 

Anyways, on Friday I went to another doctors appointment to talk about my depression and see what's working and what's not medication updates and things like that. 

I've done tons and tons of research recently about coping and helping people with depression and helping myself more importantly. 

So I'm going to give you a little insight if you know someone with depression on how to help them, or if your suffering how to help yourself.

Be patient.

Not only do I struggle with depression, I also have anxiety. Thankfully the medication has kicked in and I'm not depressed anymore. But I'm still super anxious. Hence why I had to go back to the doctor and we have upped my dose. But you have to be patient. It takes 4-6 weeks before the medication kicks in. So you have to realize it's going to take sometime before you start feeling better.

Loved ones, you need to be patient as well. Yes you may want to help, you may just want them to "hurry up and get over it" But you need to understand the struggle is real. And they just can't "get over it."  Being patient and understanding will go a long way for them.

Do something.

Trust me, this is easier said then done. In fact if you were to walk into my house right now every single room in our house is a complete disaster (I blame Christmas ;). But being at home is just a reminder of how much of a failure I am. And I have no motivation to do anything. So I go out and be with my family or I go to the mall or I go for a walk. I just go out and do SOMETHING. So I'm not sitting at home moping and getting more depressed because I can't find the motivation to clean.

Loved ones, you can help those with depression by getting them out and do something. Yes you might think "oh let me just take over and do it for them and they can relax" No. Wrong answer. The problem with that is they already do nothing. They need to do something and feel needed and wanted. If you just not make them do anything or come to their home and "take over" then your just solidifying what a failure they are. Take them to a movie or out to dinner. Go shopping. 

Be understanding.

I can't stress this one enough. You need to be understanding of yourself. It's easy to get frustrated and wish that you could just be like everybody else and normal. But your not. You need to know what your comfortable with and where you draw the line. It won't help anybody if you push yourself and then your at a party or something and end up in a full blown panic attack or completely withdrawn and everybody is looking at you strange. You need to understand that you have limitations and set those expectations for you and everybody else. 

Loved ones, you need to be understanding. If the person is depressed or has anxiety and says "you know today isn't a good day I don't think I could handle that very well" Then BACK OFF! Don't push them. They know what they can and can't handle. And it doesn't help if you push and push and push to get your way and YOU put them in a full blown panic. That's not going to help you get your way and it's certainly not helping them. So be understanding and let them do what they feel comfortable with.

Find a reason to LIVE!

You need to find a reason to live. When your depressed you start thinking "it would be better if I was gone" "no one cares about me anyway" Which is all a bunch of bull but that's the way your thinking. Sit down and write down a bunch of reasons why you should live instead of focusing on why you shouldn't. I know my number 1 reason to live was my daughter. Because I didn't want her to go through this world without me. And I didn't want other people that I HATED taking care of her and raising her the opposite of what I wanted. She was my reason to live. My reason to keep going. Find something and hold on to it.

Loved ones, be someone that your depressed loved one can rely on and realize your the reason they are living. Keep them going. And don't EVER give them a reason not to live. Make every moment with them count and show them how much you love them. Love them despite how awful they are. They are just looking for a reason to leave. DON'T BE THAT REASON! 

Don't ever give up. Never ever. There is something good in everyday! I know for me, my hardest days I felt like everything that could go wrong did. And that satan was doing everything in his power to make me hate myself. But Heavenly Father sent me a special little girl to bring light into my life and show me that every day was worth living. You can do it! Keep fighting! 

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