Thursday, October 23, 2014


I've had a very rough year. If I've told you otherwise I was lying. It's been really hard. I've struggled physically, emotionally, mentally, and also at times spiritually. 

I've let myself down over the past year and let myself have less than what I deserve. My parents have been my rock. Telling me I deserve more and that I need to get it myself. The only person that can change it, is myself. Seriously I don't think I would've survived this year if it wasn't for my amazing parents. 

I think the worst months this year were April and October. 



Yesterday I ran into the bathroom bawling. I think April and this month I've spent every single day crying. Bawling my eyes out at work. 

Because I finally succumbed to the feelings of hopelessness, feeling inadequate, thinking horrible things about myself. Believing the worst in myself. 

And then last night (I was up all night) I sat there and thought, why? Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I sitting here telling myself I am nothing and that I'm not enough? Basing what I feel about myself off of others actions? Gosh darn it I AM ENOUGH!! 

I'm a freaking good mom. I work my butt off for my little girl. I try to give her everything. I have NEVER lost my patience with her. I am not a very patient person and I have never ever lost my patience with her. 

I read lots of articles on how to help my daughter thrive and grow. She's so smart! I want to do EVERYTHING with her and for her. I love her and my heart only grows more and more everyday. 

I am a daughter of God and I deserve to be treated as such. I worked hard to become the woman I am today. 

I've fought battles nobody knows about. I've overcome Satan and it feels like he is constantly at my door to tear me down. And one day I will tell that story to all of you. 

But today, I'm done taking people's crap. I'm done with people walking all over me. I'm done with people thinking it's okay to hurt me and use me. I'm done with people thinking I'm not good enough. I'm done with people cutting me down. 

Because I AM ENOUGH. In order for me to raise a daughter who doesn't take people's crap and can stand up for herself and be a woman who is strong. I first must be strong for her to look up to. 

I finally have realized my worth. I've had my husband, my parents and my baby by my side cheering me on constantly telling me I am worth it. That I can do hard things. And finally FINALLY, I am able to sit here and tell you: My life is worth living. That I am happy with the life I live. That I am finally HAPPY! :D 

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