Monday, August 11, 2014

Real life

Sometimes I read other blogs and they are so happy and upbeat all the time. I feel like it's sort of fake. I used to think there was something wrong with me because my life wasn't always happy and everything.

This last year has been hard. Like really hard. Between being pregnant and having a baby to not seeing my husband and never parenting together. It's been super hard. 

We've been struggling. Zack looked at me the other day and said "whoever said that first year of marriage is hard is wrong, it's the second year" To which our first year was a cake walk compared to this last year. We've gone through some super hard things the last few months. At some points I felt like we weren't going to make it. 

I changed, and Zack changed. I didn't want us to change though. I fell in love with my happy go lucky husband. I fell in love with his cockiness. Yeah his cockiness, his confidence. I have always been such a downer such a pessimistic. He's always been so optimistic. We balanced each other out. But recently... 

Maybe I was just too depressed and I was making him depressed. We weren't happy. And I made a decision on Friday to talk to Zack about this. To let him know how I was feeling. And since that point I started talking about what I missed and that I wanted my husband back. That carefree boy I fell in love with. And then slowly 2 hours later. We broke down those barriers. 

And now, I got him back. :) Finally a year later I finally feel confident and happy and feel like those carefree days we used to have. It's not easy being poor. Being responsible, having a baby to take care of and raise.

Maybe I needed some reassurance. And maybe he did as well. But I finally feel like the girl I was when I married Zack. I finally feel like he's that guy that I fell in love with. 

I don't like talking about our struggles. But sometimes I feel like other people need to see that everyone struggles not just us! 

So if you are at a point in your marriage and you feel like you've talked and talked but nothing is getting resolved. Find a time where you both aren't on the defense and find some middle ground. Marriage is hard but oh so worth it. I just needed a reminder and so did he of why we have to keep fighting the devil. 

Find some ground rules. We've finally found some ground rules. We won't answer our phones after 10 o'clock anymore unless its an emergency. That if we are together and talking we don't play on our phones. We don't let people come between us. We are equal partners making equal decisions. And finally deciding that were going to do what's best for us, for our marriage, and our family. 
Don't let Satan get his hands into your marriage. Don't let technology, friends, or family come between you. Stand your ground. Cleave unto each other. 
Your marriage should ALWAYS come first. Parents, siblings, children all have their place but your spouse should come first. I have felt a huge weight lifted off our shoulders and change and warmth in our household.  Do what you need to do to change. I'm grateful this trial in our life is over. I know we'll have many more. But we live and learn! 
To my dear sweet wonderful amazing husband,
Thank you for not giving up on me. 
Thank you for always being there for me.
I love you, I love you, I love you!!! 
Me xoxoxo

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for posting this!! I agree, it's nice to see that not everything is perfect and that you are still human. I'm also glad you were able to work things out. :D


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