Monday, March 3, 2014

I'm her mom

I've tried many times to write this blog post. I think I've tried to write it 10 different times and then decide against. But I think I need to get it out there. 

On January 8th 2014 I became a mom.


It was the best day of my entire life and it will not be one I will ever forget. 

I've been a mom for almost 8 weeks now. And in those 8 weeks my whole perspective on life has changed. I don't have time to care about pointless drama now. I now worry about when the last time my child was fed, and if she needs to be changed, if she's sick, why she's crying, if she's getting enough tummy time, if I should wake her up to feed her because I'm worried she's starving. Is it okay to cuddle for few more minutes instead of worrying about dinner and cleaning the house. 

I try to be a good mom. And since she is a happy and well fed baby, who is growing and learning I'd like to think I'm doing a decent job. But unfortunately the adversary is always there trying to make you think other wise. And in my case the adversary has come in the form of other people. 

I don't think anyone has ever come up to me and said "your a terrible mother" but there actions certainly make me feel like that. 

I watched my own mother balance a career, raising children and being a wife and at times going to school full time. I never once felt neglected. But there was times when other people felt that my mom wasn't doing an adequate job and tried to step in or "take over" And that didn't sit well with me and I made sure I put those people in there place. Because I have a mom. And she cannot be replaced. And she did a dang good job raising us!

The adversary (that's what I'm going to call those people) probably has more experience than I do when it comes to being a mom. I mean for goodness sake I've only been a mom for 8 weeks. And at one time you were a new mom as well. You had to stay up all night with a crying baby whose stomach hurts. You were the one your baby wanted at the end of a long day. You are the one that they relied on before anyone else. You are the one that they got all excited to see. You were the one they wanted to be cuddled up next to. You were the one that fed them, changed them, clothed them, and bathed them. You were their entire world for that short time and I'm sure you thought that time passed all too quickly and you would do anything to get it back. But unfortunately, you had your moment. 

I'm now the mother. I'm the mom that gets up with my baby when she's upset. I'm the one my baby wants at 8 o'clock at night and she's tired and had a long day. I'm the one my baby relies on. I'm the one that Madeline smiles at when I get home from work. I'm the one who she wants to be cuddled up next to. I'm the one who feeds her, changes her, clothes her and bathes her. I'm her entire world. And this is my moment. I'm her mom.


I am Madeline's mom. I spend pretty much my every waking moment with her. I know whats best for her. I know how to calm her down. I can even distinguish between her hungry cry, tired cry, and when she wants mom cry. Because I am her mom. 

The adversary tries to make me feel like because I'm only 21 I don't know how to be a mom. They think it's okay to do whatever they want with my child without my knowledge. They try to leave with her or take her. They think it's okay to try to take my place. They try to push me out of her life. Or they make suggestions that doesn't benefit me or her. Because it may have worked for your child but it doesn't mean it's whats best for mine. They forget I'm her mom. Not them. 


I will always be Madeline's mom. Always. And no one can take my place. 

"there is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood" -Elder M Russell Ballard

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