Thursday, January 24, 2013

Covert Operation:

This is a covert operation. If you don't know what covert means it means secret. Which is kinda funny because this blog isn't a secret blog but whatever. 

What is this super secret operation you ask? Its Operation how to become a better wife. I realized yesterday for the last 8 months. (okay maybe not that long) but for awhile I have this problem that I get frustrated WAY too easily and I'm super pessimistic. But hey that's also just my personality.

It's not like I've been a bad wife. I mean I cook dinner almost every night (well on the nights that I have school or things like that I don't) I always make sure that Zack's needs are met. Well his physical needs are met. I make sure that he gets plenty of rest and that he is fed and that his house is clean and he has clean clothes that sort of thing.

But then I started thinking am I emotionally a good wife? I mean I'm a person who gets frustrated easily if I let it myself. And I realized that Zack and I come from 2 separate families where we both had 2 separate ways of doing things. He's doing things he's used to doing, and I'm doing things I'm used to doing and we haven't found a happy medium for it.

For example I never could realize why my mom would get mad if we left dishes in the sink and we would forget to look in the dishwasher. I have recently acquired that annoyance. If there are dishes in the sink you can bet I am not a happy camper. In fact I get super mad. My dad would always go on about the garbage. He would say "why hasn't anyone taken it out yet? This needs to be done too!" Well I also have acquired that annoyance I can't stand the trash over flowing. I'm not a happy wife if I see it over flowing. And I could go on and on about the annoying habits I have picked up from my parents. I would say "I'm never gonna be as uptight as you guys!" Well looks like I was wrong because I'm extremely uptight. But it's MY house and I can't wait for other people to do things for me anymore. I can't be lazy.

So when I get mad because Zack can't read my mind. And because he was like me when I lived at my parents house. If they didn't ask I just assumed it was going to get done. If I ask Zack to do something most of the time it gets done it just doesn't get done when I want it to and then I get frustrated and mad and hurt and whatever. And that's my fault. 

So I decided that I'm going to be more positive and happy. I've got this journal I'm gonna lug around with me everywhere. Anytime I'm thinking something negative (mostly about Zack) I'm going to write positive things about him until I'm not mad. I also got one of those boards (I'll have to take a picture later) But you make it out of picture frame and write "I love you because..." and then leave space and use a dry erase markers to write things they do for you. (I'm kinda hoping it's a motivator) 

Anyways I'll keep you updated on the covert operation! 

I just got to remember that I love this boy with all my heart!

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