Monday, October 8, 2012

And sometimes I wish I had a baseball bat

Sometimes I wish I had a baseball bat....

I'm kinda angry. And I don't know what to do about it. And I feel if I stop being angry then I'll just cry. I always knew this was going to happen. I mean it happened my whole life. But what do you do when you trust some people again and then they just do what they did to you your whole life? 

You take a baseball bat and you just take out your anger. Problem? I don't own a baseball bat. Zack claims we don't have one. But I think we do.... I'm gonna go home and check. Because I need to hit something. Now I'm not going to go vandalize anyone's house or whatever. I'm just gonna hit a baseball.

Have any of you had days where you just want to take a baseball bat to someone's face? Zack has been nice. I mean he's giving me whatever I want so I don't rip someone's face off. And he's not a problem before any of you jump to conclusions. Zack is honestly my best friend. I can tell him anything and he just listens and gives me advice and is my voice of reason. But what happens when your voice of reason agree's with you?

You take that baseball bat and you beat the crap out of that baseball.  And I keep trying to calm down but honestly everything is just building up. I've brushed off all of this stuff for a long time now, but since it wasn't hitting me all at once it wasn't a big deal. But now it's hitting me all at once and I just can't help but be angry. I'm not suppose to be angry. And the one who suffers is Zack. So I'll suck it up for Zack. I'll be a good sport for Zack. I'll put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is okay. But it won't be. 

Sorry you had to listen to that. I needed to vent. But like the title of this blog it states "our love story". Love isn't just about being happy and great all the time. Sometimes there are bumps in the road but you conquer them together. As a team. I'm happy to have someone as great as Zack who never ceases to amaze me with is never ending patience. I love him! 

I used to think once you got married it solved the answers to everything. That things got easier. But things outside of a marriage are the same but now you have someone who stands by you no matter what.  And just loves you completely. And for that I am truly grateful.

1 comment:

  1. It's okay to cry. Especially to Zack.
    It's okay to go to the park/batting cages and bat the crap out of a baseball.
    It's okay to call your friends. (even the pregnant ones ;) )
    It's okay to tell whoever made you feel this way how you feel and why.
    It's also okay to just not talk to them anymore.
    It's not okay to bottle it up and pretend it's not happening.

    Love you lots girly :) Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.


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